i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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