Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
only you would photoshop your dick
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
