if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
