She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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