Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
