I'm going to jail i love you
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
