Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
