he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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