Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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