My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment