You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
