so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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