I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
