Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it hurts more in the daytime
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
