I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize