At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
