yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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