Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
try to milk me bitch
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