There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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