i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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