i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
