Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
