know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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