Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My balls are so social today.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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