boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
