you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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