all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
