Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
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i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
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Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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