i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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