Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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