she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
