he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
