So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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