Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
