if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
