They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
