I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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