Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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