I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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