this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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