I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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