I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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