Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My dick has a subreddit
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
