Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
