somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
