i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
