If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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