I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
