FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
