capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
