YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize