my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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