He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
