My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
