Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
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