his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
