There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
