What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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