Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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