tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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