In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
