I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
