So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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