so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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